In the year of our lord 2013, Garth convinced me that it was somehow a Good Idea to drive to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, like way up dere, in gd FEBRUARY to play our sad bastard songs for a gaggle of strangers that seemed (on the surface at least) to be mainly into Noise Rock. This was the first Thundersnow and my introduction to the PRF. We drove up to the Terrace Bay Inn and you and Michelle were standing outside smoking. You seemed so calmly cool but inviting and right away I had a sense that we had made a Good Decision by making the trek.
That weekend was a turning point in my life. I got back home with so many new friends and the overwhelming feeling that I had found the community that I had always hoped for. Your band Book Burners kicked my ass, and we cracked each other up riffing on Beatles/My Dick titles. Strawberry Dicks Forever indeed.
We kept in touch and you made time for me. Others have put it more eloquently, but you had a gift of pulling a moment into focus and making those you were with or communicating with feel like they mattered. For as opinionated and bristling as you could often be, you also saw the good in people. In all of us. That was a gift.
I'm going to miss seeing you pop up randomly when you were least expected. That feeling that no matter what we had been through, what was really important was This Moment. I'm gonna miss your enthusiasm for whatever wild project you were working on. I'm gonna miss hearing about the adventures you had with your daughters.
G & K - on the off chance that you ever stumble across these words as you try to make sense of any of this, I just want to say that your Dad loved you So Fucking Much. His love for you emanated from him. You were the air he breathed and the wind in his sail. The moon he loved so much paled in comparison to the light that he saw whenever he looked at or even thought of you. I know it's easy for me to say it, and forgive me - I know you don't even know me, but please PLEASE do not ever blame yourself for any of his pain. Your love and his love for you kept him afloat for so long when an ocean of sadness was constantly searching for any crack to get in and overtake him. I'm so fucking sorry and I hope you know that there is a small army of weirdos who will always have your back and be rooting for you. I'm so sorry you lost your Dad. I'm sorry.
Rest well, BRW.
I love you and will continue to love you.
|*photo by Rick Murphy|